In Defense Of Bad Books

I have at times been critical of some people's choices of literature. This was certainly unfair of me, but like most, I would shrug and say 'But there's so much BETTER out there.' And I would be right.  However, that isn't really the relevant issue.

Last night, quite late, I pulled 'Soulless,' the first book in the Parasol Protectorate trilogy. This is, for lack of a better term, a steampunk fantasy. It's also a paranormal romance, but I didn't know that at the time. I had bought the first book when it first came out, because the cover was interesting and the dusk jacket sounded intriguing. The second two books I got for free from the library, so at least I can say I didn't spend an overabundance of money on them.

Let me be clear. These are not BAD books. I have a hard time criticizing most authors because obviously they have been published and I have not. Clearly, someone saw something of worth here. Furthermore, I read the WHOLE thing THAT night. So apparently that someone was me.

It is simply that I would feel uncomfortable RECOMMENDING this series to 95% of anyone I know.



Problem one is the passive voice. I have recently finished all of RA Salvatore's Legacy of the Drow and as I pointed out to some people, it is also written very passively. The reader is not shown that something is the case, they are simply told. Sometimes, this is very understandable.  When you are introducing the reader to a fantasy world, it can be hard to fit in all the lore and culture and traditions simply through action and dialogue. However, there are other times where it would have been easy to demonstrate, or even worse, where some fact HAD been demonstrated which makes the information dump rather...patronizing. It isn't that it's boring, it's that it is just THERE. It doesn't pull the reader in as much as it could. This is particularly annoying with character development. I want to watch the character develop, I want to see her change and grow and act. I don't want to simply be TOLD she is such and such way. Perhaps this is some haughtiness brought over from too many English classes, but more than once passage made me wince at its passivity.

The character in question is one Alexia Tarabotti. She is a 26 year old spinster in Victorian England, because, as mentioned, this is a steampunk novel. Her father, whom she has never met, was Italian, making her a bit too tan, her temperament a bit too fiery and her nose a bit too big for English sensibilities. Also, she has no soul. Hence, the title.

I do appreciate the way the supernatural is handled. Every series does it a bit differently, whatever foundation they have to use to justify there being vampires and werewolves and ghosts and such.  In this series, attempting to change humans (day folk) into one of the supernatural, usually ends in that person's death unless they have extra/abundant soul. This means that the kind of people usually chosen to serve the hives (vampires) or the packs (werewolves) are artists, thespians, poets and singers. They are the most likely to survive the process. Also there can be ghosts.

Alexia is a preternatural, someone with no soul at all. Furthermore, if she touches a supernatural creature, they instantly become human and mortal. The werewolves call her a curse-breaker because, despite people volunteering to be bitten, they still consider their lot a curse, and the vampires call her a soul-sucker.

Being soulless and therefore the opposite of an artistic type, Alexia is incredibly pragmatic. She loves books and science and is quite fine being a spinster. She has two half sisters who are, of course, beautiful and vapid.

This is another thing that bothers me, although not justs about this book specifically.

I can understand an author's dilemma. If you make the hero/ine smart AND pretty, well, now s/he is OP, too good, maybe even, God forbid, a Mar(t)y S(t)ue. However, if you make her plain but with 'a great personality,' well, now you are feeding into all stereotypes, especially if the characters that ARE pretty are also stupid.  I get that the idea sometimes is that plain girls (or boys, but there's not as often an issue) cultivate better personalities, or read more and therefore become smarter BECAUSE they are not as attractive and therefore less social, but the other half of that coin is the implication that there's no natural inclination towards intelligence. Or at least it is limited. Simply because an attractive girl doesn't NEED to be smart doesn't mean she wouldn't WANT to. I've seen this handled a variety of ways, to greater and lesser success.  Honestly, I wish I had some good answers, but I don't know what the best solution would be. I guess, I just felt like it was a bit too pat in this book.

Which leads to the next problem. The universe is great, I particularly enjoy the way the author weaves the supernatural into explanation for historical events and how she justifies the more steampunky elements.  However, the plot is entirely predictable. Within the first few pages, I knew basically what the focus was going to be and also who the romantic interest was. Because she hated him. OBVIOUSLY. That's how that works right? All those movies and books and songs can't be wrong.

The love interest in question is a werewolf because as mentioned, this is a paranormal romance which makes it about a half-skip to furrydom. Not only is he a wolf, he's Scottish AND a noble. Which means he gets to be gruff and tantalizingly sensual while also being gorgeously tailored. He (Conall Maccon is his name) is the head of the Bureau of Unnatural Registry, effectively the Scotland Yard and Immigration office of the supernatural. Together, they are every stereotype.

Don't get me wrong, I read almost every single Amelia Peabody book. I like the stereotype, it's fun. It's also old. I can't stress enough that these were THE SAME TWO CHARACTERS. The only difference is that Amelia solved mysteries while opening tombs in Egypt and having her books ripped off by The Mummy 2.
 I kept waiting to be surprised, thinking this was all a way to lull me into a false sense of security and then BAM, plot twist. And...that just didn't happen. They fought and she pretended not to notice how attractive he was, he lost control (near the full moon of course) and kissed her, which she responded to, they kept being interrupted and after they won the day, they got married and had sex in the carriage. While not necessarily a LOT of detail is given, I must say, it was more explicit than I expect from a book that doesn't have a girl in leather on the cover and an author who's last name starts with H.

I know this is all harping, and I want to stress that there are a lot of good aspects. The secondary characters are actually quite fun. Conall's Beta (his second in command) is something like Charles from Metalocalypse, the one always counted on to get things done. Alexia has a host of interesting friends, like her Ivy who wears the most ridiculous hats, and my personal favorite, Lord Akeldama.

Lord Akeldama is what would happen if you had Varus from Game of Thrones was played by Stephen Fry channeling Percy Blakeney. He's a very old vampire, EXTREMELY camp, with a ring of informants who are all, of course, perfectly coiffed young men. He has the best lines, I should post them later.

There is a good deal of slang, which is fun, lots of rich descriptions of clothing. Clearly, the author has a good handle on the basic history of the era. The science is sound and the over all FEEL of the universe is well executed. I had no problems with the production design, in other words. All my issues were basically with the script.

Okay, to come back to my point. These are not terrible books, I wouldn't even say they were bad. But I don't think they are particularly good, and I would be embarrassed to suggest them to most people for fear they would judge my reading tastes of questionable character. But here's the thing.
 We don't always NEED great books. I don't know about you, but I could only read Dune so many times a year. Man cannot live on space operas alone, as the Good Book says. People may make annual readings of Lord of the Rings, but it isn't like that's the only thing they read. We need some cookies and milk to go with our meat and potatoes. We read bad books for the same reason we watch stupid shows: so we can just relax, not think, not feel heavy. Sure, we'd like people to go through our collection and note our brilliant documentaries and thoughtful cinematic entries, but it doesn't change the fact that every now and again, we'd rather watch Street Fighter than Memento.
 I don't want to be thought of as the kind of person who only reads bodice rippers (extremely hard to actually do, just for the record). Yet I shouldn't be ashamed that I got a good few hours of fun from a simple paperback. I wouldn't even be embarrassed to lend it if someone asked for it, because they may very well have fun with it too.

And who knows, maybe those people I'm judging, the Twilight and 50 Shades types, maybe that's what they read those series for. So I will endeavor in the future to not be so judgmental, because we all have our guilty pleasures, the things we escape into, even when escaping our usual literary preferences. Our personal lines are rather arbitrary. There is a difference between liking something and thinking it is great literature.

So enjoy your snacks, your lexicographical bonbons. The heady meals will always be there when you want to come back.



EDIT:  I should note that as I was thinking of writing this, I was interrupted. By myself. Opening the second book. And then reading it for four hours straight. So now I have read two of three, and figured might as well complete the set. The second book was, in some ways, a lot better, though you will find yourself irritated that all the 'secrets' are super obvious to you and yet apparently invisible to our allegedly brilliant heroine. Also there's hella drama at the end, which means I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES ME HATE MYSELF AUGHWHY.

Shaking Fists At The Universe Like a Good FirstWorlder

11:45ish "Lunch Break" (This is a joke because I never get to actually eat lunch)

I love my job. I love my kids.

Sometimes though, I want to shake them till their ears pop off.

It wouldn't be so bad if I slept all through the night, but I don't. I wake up several times, do the whole tossing dance. It doesn't matter how exhausted I am, how relaxed I was before bed. I blame my traitor brain.

And it wouldn't matter to the same extent if my head didn't hurt, but I've had a raging headache since I got up. I won't call it a migraine because real migraines involve nausea and dizziness. I DO get vertigo sometimes and a bit of dizziness and I did feel gross when I woke up, but that isn't connected. My head just hurts. The sun is shining which makes everyone happy but means I've got stabbing pains everytime I walk down the hall.

I walk down the hall a lot.

It's not even concentrated in one particular place, moves all over place, throbs here, aches there.


So I'm aware that it isn't all their fault. I get that.

But boy if they don't make every effort to make me forget.

There's no school tomorrow, it is a teacher workday. I will have lots of CBT (computer based training) to do, and my paraprofessional modules. I've purposefully put all of it off knowing this work day was coming up.  If I 'don't have anything to do,' they find things both mundane and irritating, so I'd like to avoid that if possible.
  Among other things, this meant the kids has to take their spelling tests today instead of tomorrow. ONE student got an A, and she just got the words yesterday. Three failed, two got C's, two got B's. I'm not sure what the others got.

The ones that failed get to retake the tests but it won't matter. We've gotten on these kids every day, reminding them, offered help, begged them to come in, berated, taken lunch recess away. Nothing works. Some are just defiant, some just don't care. And when you say 'Okay, so you get an F,' then they whine and make excuses or they sit and sulk.

The bad grades in and of themselves would not be so bad. Everyone messes up a week here and there. But these are the same kids who refuse to read the books they are assigned and so are very behind in Reading Counts (our reading program). And the same ones that won't turn in class projects. And the same ones that bully others or throw pine cones. And have no organization.  So there's nothing I can point to and go 'At least you're doing THIS well.'
  It gets very tiring to get up in the same grills all the time.

One is particularly difficult because I know it isn't all his fault. As far as I can tell, he has almost no real adult supervision. Both his parents work. Several days he's come to school without socks. He has the worst haircut you can imagine and that's a frequent occurence. I see him playing around our neighborhood alone all the time. Oh, and he told me there are mice in his room. Not pet mice. Like vermin.

So I think when adults get on his case, he's genuinely surprised because he's just not used to it. However, I still have to do it, still bring down the hammer because that's the only way he will learn.

It's difficult because a lot of my kids have almost no one on Their Side.  Most of them have friends and whatnot, but several don't have close buds. They don't trust anyone, some with better reasons than others. I want my kids to trust me. But I can't let them think it is okay going through life the way they are now, because I do them no favors by letting them fail.


There's another student with parents that worry me. I feel like I'm putting together some expose. 'How Stupid Military Parents (usually in Maintenance or Medgroup, just saying) Screw Up Their Children (which is especially awesome considering their kids have special needs) Through Craziness and Neglect.' Catchy title, I know.

I'm strongly considering calling Family Advocacy for this one. He looks like he never showers, always greasy haired and whatnot. His parents' idea of 'lunch' is a poptart and some pork rinds. I'm not making that up. He's a bully, not...not an evil or even particularly bad kid, but he's got a mouth on him and he can be agressive and I know he gets that at home. I've met his mom and she's crazy. She told us we had no right to 'comment or grade' his behavior because that was the parents' job. Okay, then homeschool him. Because he's in our room for social and learning disabilities and therefore, we are totally required to grade his behavior, ASIDE from the fact that when you are around other people there are ways you are expected to behave and he has to know that. Anyway, like I said, bonkers.
Last week he told me he was going to be left home alone almost all day over the weekend. If it wasn't for the fact Family Advocacy was closed by the time I got off work, I would have already filed some kind of concern.

I don't want to be THAT person, the nosy-break-up-homes type, but it really worries me.

2:45 School Ended/Post Classroom Cleanup

Feeling much better now. Thank the gods Apollo (of medicine) and Hecate (of willow and therefore willow bark) for aspirin.  Today is also my 'fast' day, so I've snacked a bit (including some bits of steak) but am not eating any meals today, just my protein shake (which is deceptively delicious), and enough calories to be healthy to get through the day (about 600). This is to make up for the stupid food I will end up eating over the weekend like pizza and cider.

I'm trying to lose 10-20 pounds by New Year in a notstupid way. I feel like a total tool counting calories because in my experience, people who do that expect OTHER people to accomodate them or they make big deals about it to impress people. Which...I realize is what it exactly looks like I'm doing, but I'm not trying to impress anybody. So I keep track of what I eat (this is made easy by the fact I never get to eat lunch), and I try to work out. As most of you know, this can be difficult because I have the joints of a 200 year old elephant.

Currently, I do 'girl' pushups (where I rest on my knees), planks (where I rest on my forearms), hang off a pull up bar, and do some work with hand weights. It isn't much and I suck at it. The spirit is willing, believe me. I get started three or four times a day. But apparently, despite being inked four times and having studs punched in my back (and subsequently having one pulled out of totally damaged skin), I don't have the greatest pain tolerance. I think it's mostly a mental thing. It isn't that I can't deal with pain, it's that part of my brain starts to panic and shut down. This affects other areas of my life that I'm not going to go into now, but suffice to say, I hate it and want it to die.

Anyway, I'm supposed to do 15 pushups, 3 plank sets and be able to hang off the pull up bar for something like 30 seconds. I can do most of those things but not in a row. I take comfort in the fact I'm getting better but it bothers me that instead of finding my limit and pushing through so that the limit gets farther back, I find my limit and stop. However, I've only just started, so I'm not discouraged yet.

The other thing I'm doing is going to the pool a lot. Or at least I will be. The universe apparently noticed me trying to be healthy and active and flipped out, angered by my desire to leave my hermitage. So two pipes in my car exploded. Not really exploded, though that would have been cool, if terrifying. Just broke so I couldn't drive it. I can't walk to the pool (I COULD technically, but England doesn't believe in sidewalks), so I have to wait till my car is fixed (hopefully tomorrow). After that, the plan is to go something like four days a week. Three days a week, the pool does a 'water fitness' class, rather like an aerobics class but in the water. Last time I did it, it absolutely kicked my ass, but then last time I did it, I was kind of hungover. And by kind of, I mean, I am a total and complete idiot. Hopefully, next time with proper hydration and rest, I will not die quite so hard. An hour work out either way though is great, and I'm glad for the external help.

One day a week, I will do something called Aquagym, which has actual equipment. Sunday I am supposed to be 'inducted' where they will show me how to do stuff. Really, I'm hoping these four days will make the big difference, but I know the every day stuff is important too. I'm pretty good about doing the hand weights ('punching' with them for a minute, holding them out for as long as I can, etc) mostly because I can do that sitting down or for short periods of time.

3:30 Why Am I Still Here

I've been told that what I need to do about the students I'm worried about is talk to the School Nurse and Counselor.  This is true, but I'm not convinced it will do anything. They aren't...the best at doing their, you know, jobs. We've tried to get one of the students in the Counselor's 'Boys Group' all last year and all this year, and so far, he has done nothing. And the nurse is aware of the poptarts issue, but she hasn't done much either. Still, here's hoping, because something has to be done.

Going to pop over to the library. I found out that the other base's library is closed on the weekends because they don't have the staff to keep it open. I tried to ask if I could volunteer, but they said I had to talk to the manager. Who apparently is a wraith because I've never gotten ahold of her yet, but maybe this base's librarians know her and can pass along a message. Would be cool to feel I had saved the library.

Not a bad looking day outside, going to wear my tinted glasses and listen to music. Then I have to grade essays for my online class. Not looking forward to that. Of the 4, 2 are complete rubbish, 1 is okay and 1 is almost okay. Then some lectures, and then done with the class.

So that's what's going on in Meland. Lots of augh, but probably not so bad as to justify this long rant. Thanks for listening anyway.

Some Thoughts On Personal Responsibility

Two things happened today that got me thinking about children and parentst and responsibility.

One is that I finished reading Corey Doctorow's Little Brother. It was required reading for my sci-fi/fantasy class, the last assignment. It is considered YA fiction and my teacher wanted to know if that knowledge, that preconceived idea of the intended audience affected the way we read it. He also wanted to know if the author's clear and frankly didactic intent ruined the story.

Think V for Vendetta meets Fight Club meets 4chan.

Little Brother is a book that both rubbed me weirdly and that I wish I had written. The main character, Marcus, is 16. He's a nerd. He can code, he used to LARP, he can hack and he plays Action Roleplaying Games (back to that in a moment). He also lives in a world just a tiny bit different than ours which I guess is why it's considered science fiction.

Security has stepped up a bit. The students all get SchoolBooks, notebook computers, however, everything they did is monitored. All textbooks and library books have RFID chips and there's 'gait recognition' cameras in the hallways. All of this is cakesauce for Marcus, who can blow past all the firewalls and whatnot because he lives on the internet, just like most kids.

I'd say about 40-50%, possibly more of the book is dedicated to explaining stuff. Explaining what LARPing is, or how certain kinds of codes or the technology behind spam filters. Some of it I felt was unnecessary, any kid under 25 will know what X is, but that could just be the kinds of kids I know. If they are the kinds of kids who would read this book, they probably don't need anime explained to them. Which made me think maybe it was for the adults or maybe Mr. Doctorow just likes showing off how much he knows. He's clearly well entrenched in nerd culture himself and wanted to include as much of it as he could.

So an ARG is a very Japanese kind of game, and actually something that happens here not uncommonly, although usually it's a kind of viral marketing campaign for movies. Cloverfield and Dark Knight both did something like it. Players are given a clue, well, a clue to find a clue. There's a logic problem or puzzle, a digital component (something like digging through all the fanart of SnapeXLeia for something in one specific entry) and a physical component, which requires finding the right WiFi hotspot and then downloading the information. The winners get to go to Japan.

Marcus and his three friends, his team as it were, sneak out of school to do this. When they reach the right area, there's an explosion. Terrorists have attacked San Francisco and wiped out the Bay Bridge. Marcus and his friends are notarrested and taken to a detention facility. Because Marcus refuses to unlock his phone (likes his privacy and all that), they tell him he'll be watched for the rest of forever and essentially treat him...well, like a terrorist. His friend who was stabbed in the panic, is not let out.

After that, everything changes, all kinds of new surveillance and security.  It's depressingly easy to imagine. Marcus, offended that the Bill of Rights is being torn up for 'his freedoms,' and angry about the mistreatment of himself and his friends, wants to fight back. He can't tell anyone they were in jail, so he basically starts a digital underground. Hacktivism, and all that.



That's the basic plot, obviously there's more, but you get the idea. So here's the rub. This book has a lot of heavy stuff in it. Marcus effectively declares war on Homeland Security, admittedly one that is clearly in the wrong. Treasure Island gets labeled Gitmo-On-The-Bay, and that's exactly what it is. So IS he a terrorist? Or is he a citizen looking out for his rights? Can he be both?

He also has sex at one point. It isn't described in any kind of detail, though more than I remember ever reading from books when I was a kid. There's no swearing and while there's obviously violence, there's not a lot of gore. So I try to look at it from a few perspectives.

I would probably not have read this book at 16. Simply because it wasn't the sort of thing I was really into. However, my parents totally would have LET me read it and we would have talked about the subject matter. So as a parent, I would probably let my child read it. I wouldn't necessarily SUGGEST it for anyone under 16, and probably would nudge toward 18. As a teacher, I'd probably never require it as reading, simply because of the flame mail I'd get from parents, but if I was going to, it'd be a Senior year deal.

What does this have to do with responsibility, you ask. As most of you know, I think kids can handle a lot more than we give them credit for. I don't think we need to dumb down issues just because it makes US uncomfortable to go into.  Sure, there are time constraints in classrooms, and in Social Studies for example, it would be impossible to give all possible interpretations of some key events.  However, that doesn't mean ONE interpretation should be given as THE ONE.

So I wouldn't ban this book or say kids shouldn't read it because they'd get it. Heck, I'd hesitate more because they WOULD. As far as I know, all the technology, all the tricks Marcus and the others use absolutely exist. They aren't futuristic, Deus Ex Machina sort of things. The book could be a manual of Hack the School. Which is part of the point. The information is out there. If someone wants it, they can find it. I'm not saying that since any potentially dangerous information is there, we should just let kids willy nilly at it.

This book got me thinking, which is, I think the point, and obviously, it rattled in my head enough to want to talk about it. I think the author's purpose was to generate discussion, especially between adults and young people. In the end, I think it would be up to the parents to decide how they wanted to handle their child reading it.




Which brings me to Event 2.

I went to see Dredd today. It was...everything you thought it would be. I really wanted to get into the bloodboobsbulletsmelodrama, but there was a problem. Someone had brought to kids with them. And when I say kids, I don't mean like teenagers.

I mean, I think one was 10 and the other was 8. Maybe a little older, but not much. And that pretty much ruined the whole movie for me because every time they swore...which is a LOT (I mean, like whoa) or there was gratuitous blood, I winced and thought 'What's wrong with you, get them out of here.' Me, I'm a big kid, and I don't really like having f-bombs hurled at me all the time, but I could have ignored it. I like ridiculous action movies. But that's just it. I'm a big kid. These were LITTLE kids. In my opinion, they should not have been there. It isn't the theatre's fault, there were all sorts of signs. Either seeing this movie was more important than staying home because they couldn't find a babysitter or these parents and I have a very different value system. Because apparently it was hunkydorey.

There are a lot of students at my school who play M-rated games. In fact, pretty much all of them. And I know that my boss doesn't like it and she rumbles about it and whatnot. I tend to keep my mouth shut. I played M-rated games as a kid, but they weren't the ONLY thing and it was not the be-all-end-all of my entertainment. I get that kids are going to get some exposure no matter what, but there's still age-appropriateness and level/duration of exposure. And that's not on anyone but the parents. Not the school, not the government, not the library or the Blockbuster or anyone else. Not all rated R movies are the same or Mature games or more mature shows. And of course, not all kids are the same. Some can handle some subjects better sooner, some it would probably be a best idea to keep away for as long as possible. So I don't want there to be huge sweeping rules. I just want parents to be responsible for their kids.

At least until those kids are old enough to read books that may or may not turn them into the kinds of people who wear Guy Fawkes' masks.

Summer Projects Update

Today I strained the raspberry liqueurs. There's Raspberry, RasMint, and RasGinger. The golden stuff at the bottom there is the sugar syrup that will make them sweeter and thicker. They should be quite strong, but tasty. They should be ready at the end of the month. Stay tuned.

A Little Crossover

Does it count as fanart if it is your own stuff? I have no idea. Thanks to my friend, the Ardent Sluggard, I started watching The Mystic Archives of Dantalian. In Japanese, the title is much shorter, but I went with this one anyway. The main characters, Dalian and Huey...well, being anime, I probably can't sum it up as easily as you'd think. Basically, they collect books, especially a certain type, called Phantom Books that are essentially Grimoires. There is fighting and sweets and all the other things that go into animes of this sort.

The dynamic of the two characters (in the three episodes I have seen) is comparable to Alexis and Cain, although Lex is not a pushy princess Lolita. But books are involved, and I wanted to do some cross over fanart. I guess you could say it is my characters cosplaying as their characters.

For the record, this is picture I was mostly going off of:


And here is the owner and the one employee of The Opheliac:
Normally, Lex smiles much more than this, but I was trying to keep some aspects the same. Cain pretty much always glowers like that. There were shenanigans, and yet again I got sick of tweaking. This is why I am not a good artist, I'm not a perfectionist enough. But I still like how it turned out.

Some Not-Very-Good ECS Pics

I sort of apologize for this. I did the lineart around two am yesterday and every now and again, when I'm coloring in Photoshop, I go 'hey, that gritty/half finished look is actually pretty cool' and then come back to it and realize, no it really just looks like I half assed it, but by that point I don't want to fix it. SO...

PreTat Jael

Jael, as you probably worked out, is my Archivist, the Homo Gnosis Faustus of Emerald City Spiral. The purpose of this picture was actually cuz I was going to do tat and makeup shenanigans which clearly have no happened yet. So uh...sorry about that.



This is Matt. He has a tendency of telling some people his full name is Matthew and other people that it's Matthias. Matt does this because he has a problem. The Bible says that 'No man can serve two masters.' Matt would agree to this, with an added, 'Especially if one of them is a total bitch.'

Actually, in some ways, Matt got very lucky. As Powers go, the two HE'S forced to call Master are more sane than most. They just happen to play for different teams (which also isn't totally fair, since everyone is on their own team).

Like Ezra, Matt is a Tyr. In fact, Matt was made a Tyr specifically BECAUSE of Ezra Once Matt was a very competent-if-not-particularly-passionate detective. As you can gather from his current garb, that is no longer a profession he is able to pursue.

It is said the PowersThatBe do not make mistakes when they choose their warriors. Matt calls BS on that, because no way would a Warden Power intent on protecting the Mundanes from the homicidal madness of an Incarnadine pick a Vampire's familiar.

Matt is aware that his personal sanguinary boss is not the worst and is actually (worryingly) enjoying his work for her more and more as time goes on. But righteous defense is not something the Vampires are known for and his Master is no exception. She also has a rather cruel sense of humor, which is why he looks like that.

Thanks for tuning in. =)

The Killer and the Morlock

Two fresh pieces for you today, with absolutely nothing in common.

I have been watching a lot of X-Men: Evolution lately (thank you, Hulu), and Callisto recently showed up. I personally really like her, probably because I would like to think I can relate. Unlike the other Morlocks, she doesn't REALLY need to stay down there, she could pass on the surface. One gets the impression that she does because they need looking after and she is taking care of those that others won't. That's legit, in my book. So this simple fanart is for her.

Another reason I've always liked Callisto is she doesn't fit the normal 'female comic book characters' stereotypes. She's a big girl, tall, broad of shoulders, built without being beefy. Has something of the Revolutionary look to her, I've always felt, practical and maybe a little defiant. Obviously she's pale because she never sees the sun. I know her eye isn't always red, just when she's using her power, but I wanted to do it anyway.

And over here in Original Character Land...

Guess who totally had fun with patterns today? :D Technically, I suppose those bricks should be red, but I liked the contrast too much.

This is Ezra. He is a Tyr in Emerald City Spiral. That is not an arrow behind him, it's a rune (Tyr or Tiswar, depending on who you ask, the 'spear'). According to Nordic/Teutonic legend, Odin impaled himself with a spear upon Yggdrasil in order to achieve enlightenment. Likewise, the warriors of Thor and Odin had to slash the rune onto their flesh in order to enter Valhalla. When the Nazis were making a big deal about the Spear of Longinus/Destiny, they were linking it to these legends. Just as the farmer plowed the field, so it was believed the gods plowed/wounded the human soul in order to teach it and grant it wisdom.

This is all well and good, but what if such understanding was forced upon an individual? What if they didn't ask to be enlightened and the gods chose them anyway? In the eternal struggle between the various Powers That Be, warriors, avatars of their sires, are chosen to fight the proxy war. They are not given an choice. These are the Tyr.

As you might imagine, forced illumination frequently has...side effects. Like...homicidal insanity. Or maybe Ezra is just doing as his master bids. You never can be sure in these situations.

Sketchbook: His Chthonic Majesty Dreams of English Summer Rain

Saint Pandora

The first Homo Gnosis Faustus, patron Saint of those who would know that which is meant to be unknowable.

I drew this first in pencil but it didn't save, so I'm afraid I don't have it for you.

This was intended to look like the stained glass window of a church, and it will hang in the as-yet-unnamed Archivist's chambers. Saint Pandora was meant to have something of the Madonna to her, beatific yet distant. She looks down into her box, crying tears of acid, yet she smiles. It is better to know, her eyes say.

The original picture done with marker with a minimal amount of smudging for the fire effect. Protip: All those runes are important. Well, her rosary/necklace thing and the rune in the back. But that would be spoilz.

Was going more for a 'woodcut' look here. But it is harder to make out her smile.
Kind of a 'blown glass' thing here. I like filters, okay? And finally...


The actual 'stained glass' effect. not what I was going for, but as something like a 'chipped mosaic' piece, it kind of works.

Which do you guys think works best?

New Month, New Art!

Today I bring you the Duchess of Milan, from the sort-of-story I told you about yesterday.

Her name is Haidee. And she is the most dangerous little girl in Europe.

This is the first version. I am particularly fond of the lolita gasmask, though it needs depth and texture.

Today, I decided I would try to shade it a slightly different way. All the base colors are the same though, so the differences will probably be subtle.



With this one, I was trying to go for a simpler shading, and also to more strongly indicate with direction light was coming from (in this case, from the upper left hand side). It sort of succeeded, though clearly needs work.

Thoughts?

Black and White

Today, I have two simple pictures, one old and one new.

A Doxic Priest

As you can see, this was drawn on notebook paper and is basically a doodle I made at school. The world it comes from is still evolving in my head, and yet again, there's no actual plot, just characters and a premise.

At some point, air becomes toxic. The wealthy nations knew this was coming and made air filtration plants but pretty much refused to give them to the poorer nations. As such, whole populations were lost. Also, things like aeronautics becomes quite difficult. This is essentially an excuse for why the story focuses on the Eurasian continent and why I'm not going to worry about America or Australia. I am forcing an oversimplification on the world. As I continue to think about it, I add more and it becomes more complex so those sorts of things will undoubtedly be modified. But one thing at a time.

There are two superpowers...because I like contrasting dichotomies. In the West...that is, the Western European nations that still exist, government has reverted to city-state republics, ruled by Dukes, Duchesses and so on. Regressing (or re-progressing?) to an eram uch like the Renaissance, a kind of intellectual arms race has sprung up, a competition to have the best minds in one place. The greatest rivalry is between Florence, Venice and Milan. The Vatican is yet again a major player in politics, though nominally uninvolved. As you can imagine, there is frequently tension between the ruling nobles and the Vatican, but no one can really move against them.

In the East, they do not have this problem, as everyone knows and accepts that the Princes of Rus are subject to the command of the Patriarch leader of the Doxic church, in this case, the Pontifex Primarquessa Erzebet of Muscovy. There is no division between Church and State. As you can imagine, the apocalyptic reality hit the east harder and most of the continent has become an arid wasteland. The only people who live beyond the control of the Princes are nomadic warriors that bear a suspicious resemblance to Fremen and Mongols. As such, the Doxics are a hard and utilitarian people. Where the West is done in jewel and metal, the East is steel gray. It would be like if Renaissance met the Soviet Union.

This isn't to say there isn't hella court politics between the Doxics. The Princes of Rus constantly backstab and undermine and Erzebet herself has a problem with her own sister, Kateryna of the Volga.

Everyone has to wear breathing masks, but in the West, they wear full masquerade masks, and it's considered a sign of intimacy to actually show your face. Really elaborate ones. In the East, they are very utilitarian and straightforward. That being said, there will be some fun designs on both sides.

As the Pontifex is ruler, most roles are filled by priests. The color of the armbands the priests wear indicate their affiliation. Pro tip: You don't want to cross the blue ones. Or the red ones. Or the grey ones.

The point of the story is to conflate history. That is to have characters heavily based on real people interacting, even if they didn't necessarily exist at the same time. Part of the inspiration came from reading a 'What If' book written by prominent historians. One of the situations was the Mongols assaulting Venice and one of the statements were 'One shudders to think what they would have done with Leonardo.' Not only do I not shudder, I think that is an AWESOME idea.

I like this picture because I so rarely draw with pen and it actually came out pretty much exactly as I wanted. You should expect to see more from this universe in the future.

Probably the Most Emo Picture I Will Ever Post, Promise

This is undoubtedly, a very cliche type thing, and I'm sure I could find a dozen similar images on DeviantArt, but I don't care. I think most of us have felt like this at some point. It is a complicated thing. The cracks, the wounds are real, and they don't just go away, but we put a smile on and tell them that it's okay, and we mean it too, at least to the extent that we're not consciously lying. We're okay but we're not.

I was going for a doll look, and tried to make it purposefully androgynous because like I said, I think most people, male or female has been in this position. I was originally going for a porcelain doll look, hence the cracks, but also a little bit of Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. I especially like how the broken smile came out, because it leaves open the question...is it forced? If it is, who is it trying to convince...them or you? Or do you mean it, but doing it still hurts? Nothing is ever simple.

Materials: Sharpie. I did the background and text bubble in photoshop obviously because I wanted the contrast but everything else is just simple ink.
Sketchbook: Such Mad Hope From The Gates of Horn and Ivory

Two-Fer!

I swear, I didn't forget yesterday's update, but I had to run errands and by the time I got back, it was just not happening. SO, to make up for it, I have both updates today.

Echidna

Echidna is one of my favorite mythological figures. The Broodmother, the Mother of Monsters. Is there a scary being under your bed? It probably popped out of her. You can read more about her here. I'm also including the link for the purpose of full disclosure, so you can see that I used a bit of a reference.This is actually not how I usually draw her, but I wanted to focus on the 'nymph like' aspect, the alluring seductress who needs your seed to continue her race of creatures, rather like Grendel's mother.

Originally I wanted to put up the line art, and then contrast it colored in Photoshop as opposed to markers but Photoshop was being a butt. So...this is what you're going to get instead.


Photoshop Lineart



Markers


Attempts at shading were clearly...well, attempted, with varying degrees of success. I'm sorry I didn't draw scales, I did not feel like it would really help. I don't hate it, And some things worked better than I expected, though I imagine I will do another version eventually.

Sketchbook: His Chthonic Majesty Dreams of English Summer Rain

Kahlan




This is actually something of a redo from some pictures I put on Deviantart a few years ago.

For those in the back, Kahlan is the second main character from Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth Series. Both of these pictures are inspired by the second book, 'Stone of Tears.' It was extremely good and extremely traumatizing to read, which is why I haven't finished the series. I'm not even kidding, this book shaved years off my life. The top comes from a battle scene in which Kahlan leads a small band of Mud people (that's what they're called) against the armies of the Bad Guy. She rides a horse naked, covered in mud and pretty much pwns face. I obviously did not draw her doing that. This comes directly after the battle as she is wrapped in a wolf-cloak and staring out at the carnage. I like this scene because it is Kahlan the Defender, the Warrior, protector of her people.

The lower half comes later. I don't want to say too much because it is one of the major climaxes of the book, but as you can see from the link, it's called 'The Gratitude of the Masses,' so that should tell you something. This is Kahlan the Mother/Guardian, the Servant, at what is probably her lowest moment. Well, no, there is one other time, and I would LOVE to draw it as a stained glass Triptych, but that will take more art skillz than I currently possess.

I love this character because she avoids so many aggravating tropes. She IS strong, but not at the expense of her femininity, she is smart without being abrasive, caring without being weak. And she's pretty. And Richard is one of the best protagonists. Really, I should just finish these books, assuming my heart can take it.

Sketchbook: Such Mad Hope From The Gates of Horn And Ivory

NEW ARTZ

You know, if I actually do manage to keep up this posting fing, I may have to make a whole new blog. BECAUSE I'M COOL. Or I could get around to ever posting anything else here. It isn't like I don't think of things.

To contrast yesterday's much older art, I bring you something I finished today, hopefully contrasting that I suck slightly less.


Today I have two original characters, only one of which is mine. They come from totally separate universes and the only things they have in common is warding sigils tattooed to their skin and the fact that neither of them have names yet.

As you can probably guess, the one on the left is one of my characters from Emerald City Spiral, a kind of urban fantasy that I play with every now and again. Think of her as the Intel Analyst of the supernatural, whose job it is to know what other people don't or can't for the sake of their own sanity. Needless to say she has a lot of vices, mostly drinking. And she's a little crazy. Funfact: She dyes her hair blue because the color it naturally is now disturbs people. That's right, the electric punk color is her doing YOU a favor as the LESSER extreme.

On the right is an Inquisitor from the Warhammer 40,000 universe dressed in the equivalent of a plainclothes police officer. I won't give any details because it isn't my character to spoilz.

Materials: Pencils, inking pen, Photoshop
Sketchbook: Such Mad Hope From the Gates of Horn and Ivory

Summer Art: Cheating with old stuff

I have a totally cool piece of art for today, but I have to ask permission to use it first, so while that happens, plz to enjoy this concept art from Wasteland: Earth, which you can still read by following the link at the right hand side even though I haven't updated it for months (in my defense, the computer it was saved on blew up).

I should really recolor this now that I suck slightly less at Photoshop, but it is good to see whee I came from.

I would describe the character and story, but seriously...the link is right there. There's only like ten chapters, it won't take long.

Line art:
Colored profile:






Materials used: Pencils and Photoshop
Sketchbook: On Her Once White Wings, the Raven Wheels Above The Wasteland

Summer Art Cont...

This really needs no need to explain this.
Materials: Waterproof meant-for-kids markers
Sketchbook: Such Mad Hope from the Gates Of Horn And Ivory

Summer Art

Because he is infinitely cooler than me, I'm going to see if I can emulate my good buddy Holden who posts art he has made every day, sometimes new stuff, sometimes old stuff. You can check it out (and I strongly urge you to do so), here.

Today, we have some characters from the Ivory Tower.

The Ivory Tower was/is a concept I'm still mucking with, but as with most of my ideas, I enjoyed the conceptualizing and pretty utterly failed at the execution. The basic premise was the anthropomorphic personifications of academic subjects. The point was to explore the relationships between them. Humanities students don't identify with Math students who don't identify with Art students, and so on. And within the basic houses, there are huge differences.

I once walked in on a furious debate between a History student and an English student about who had to write more papers. The argument was silly to begin with because so much depends on what teachers you have. Some teachers assign 3 papers a quarter, which determine your whole grade (I HATE that, for the record). Others require a page long paper every week. And of course, the KIND of writing is different. While obviously, most English students can and do write research papers, and History students can and (though less often) do write creative works, the emphasis is still very different. But I didn't want to introduce a Quantity Versus Quality dynamic to what was already an asinine discussion.

Engineering students frequently don't relate to Physics students, even though there's so much overlap. Drama kids rarely get along with band kids. The point is, there is a culture to subjects, at least on the university level if not throughout academia, and I wanted to represent it with characters. Of course, all of this is through my perceptions of said subjects, and others have totally different ones, which was why I had wanted it to be a rather collaborative effort, and indeed, got a lot of tips and ideas from various individuals.

So the Ivory Tower itself is a giant...castle/private school. Rather like Hogwarts now that I think about it. It is presided over the rarely seen Polymath and broken into the 3 main houses mentioned above: Humanities, Sciences and Art. Of course, even here, there is some difficulty. The Physikies...Physics, Chemistry, Biology, etc...disdainfully look down on the Softies...Psychology, Anthropology, Sociology (triplets), Political Science and so on, which bounce between Science and Humanities as the Social Sciences. Mathematics and Physics don't get along because they are the two big guys in the little sandbox and they're just alike enough to hate each other and just different enough to not merge into a crazy amorphous blob. No one knows what to do with the art students. Or the philosophy students, but for the most part, they stay out of everyone's way.

So with that longwinded introduction over, here is the first couple Students I worked up.

Statistics is that girl everyone kind of hates, but also wants to be with. Sociology has a huge crush on her, but since they're so often in the same study group, he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want it to get 'weird.' She's the kind of girl who actually runs for the ASC. And wins. Her brother, Mathematics, particularly avoids her because she so often tries to one-up him and twists his words around in knots. She never goes steady with any one person for long and frequently makes rounds among the Softies. Her younger brother, Probabilities is always trying to tag along but he just mucks up her scene and she's always trying to distance herself from him.

Speaking of...



Meet Probabilities and his best friend Quantum Theory. Quantum Theory is Physics ginger-step-brother. Literally. But he doesn't let the weird stares or the nearly universal awkwardness and sidelong glances get him down. Probabilities and Quantum Theory hang out a lot, mostly because they get ignored or shunted by everyone else, and because they're a little young, they don't always relate the same way the others do. This, however, leads to lots of (truthfully, hilarious) pranks and shenanigans as they try to get everyone to just lighten up.

Materials: Pencil, .4 fine point pent, Photoshop.
Sketchbook: His Chthonic Majesty Dreams of English Summer Rain

Summer Projects: Part 1(?)

I'm not gunna lie. My back hurts. My legs are sore. I'm extremely tired. I've spent over a hundred dollars and worried it will be an epic waste, which would really suck because that's not exactly money I have to toss around. I've set my stove on fire, yelled at my cats, walked to and from base, twice (making it about a four mile trip, carrying groceries), and frequently found myself going, "WHY did I think this would be a good idea?"

All for these.



What, you may legitimately ask, are these infernal contraptions? Eyes in glasses? Toenails? Have I taken up some dark magics?!



My answer to all that is: I bet that would be easier.

Frankly, I blame Amazon. They had this huge digital sale, tons of books under four dollars. And one of the 99 cent ones was 'Make Liqueurs as Gifts!' and I was like 'Hey, I'm not really drinking anymore but totally have this booze left over, I bet it'd be swell to have homemade gifts of teh alcohols to give away!' It helped that I had recently been wanting to paint glass jars for no apparent reason. I had thought to make candle holders but this seemed so much cooler.

I'm going to share a secret with you, kittens. It takes a FHTAGN TON of alcohol to make liqueurs. Mostly vodka. I think I went through a 1 1/3 liter. I also polished off a bottle of gin.

If I had been smart and really thought this out, what I would have done was pick a relatively easy recipe, and tried it. If it worked out, I would have branched out, tinkering as I went.

I am neither smart, nor good at thinking things out.

What I did instead was by about six different kinds of fruits, nuts, spices, extracts...plus jars, a strainer, and coffee filters.

Those bottles are the main bunch, but there are another three in a closet, because they need to be kept in a warm dark place. So there's close to a dozen of these suckers. And, continuing my trend of idiocy, I decided to experiment straight off. I tried to keep detailed measurements and whatnot but there's a disturbing amount of 'approximately's written in my journal. I also got a giant At-A-Glance calendar to let me know when to shake this bottle, turn that bottle, strain this, etc.

What I should have done when I realized I was going to burn through alcohol like a fratboy was taper down all of the recipes. So what if I would have leftover fruit (which I do anyway)? Good snacks, way to be healthy. And truthfully, I did start really paring it down as we went, but it was still a lot.

So if this fails, it's going to fail epically.

But if it works...



...this could be the beginning of the Opheliac line. I've already started naming them. The above bottle will eventually be Incarnadine. I'm also designing labels, but these will be relatively simple and of course dependent on them not totally sucking. The above bottle again, has to sit without being moved for three months. My raspberry ones for pretty much the same amount.

So...I will keep you in the loop on that. Honestly, it was really fun, just stressful because I realized after it was too late to really stop that it probably could have been handled better.

Oh, and sugar syrup sucks to make. Just throwing that out there.

I had thought about making a whole new blog just to focus on different summer projects (art, writing, this, etc), but since I haven't done anything on this blog for awhile, and it would just get shut down once I start working again, I figured this was best.

Hit me up with your thoughts.

Early Morning Philosophy #2

Whenever I watch a movie that features Arlington National Cemetery, I won't lie, I fight the urge to tear up a bit.

Not simply for all the alabaster graves...though there are SO many of them...but for all the people I know aren't there...including those once thought our enemies. I have seen many war memorials now, and though I am grateful for a new kind of war that doesn't involve lining up on hilltops to fire at each other 'like a good sport,' it grieves me that our non-traditional wars are not really conducive to memorials as we understand them. And the people we tend to fight now would never be able to afford them anyway.

I am sad for all the families in the arid nations of AK's and sand and oil. I've been accused of being unpatriotic for this, but I consider quite the reverse true. If the adage: "With great power comes great responsibility," is true, I believe we, as Americans, have the highest responsibility to be respectful of fallen fighters on all sides.

I am adamantly opposed to violating the dead. When Achilles killed Hector, that was fine, that was his right as a warrior, and it was an honorable battle. But when he towed Hector's bleeding body around Troy's walls, there was an almost ubiquitous dissaproval...even from the gods.

I do not believe anyone to be my enemy. I have wished harm upon individuals, but only in moments of anger, and always because they have threatened or injured those close to me, and usually, much of the ire is born out of my own incompetence at defending my loved ones. I do not hate any group of people.

This is one of the reasons...perhaps the biggest reason, war is a horrifyingly soul-raping, wretched endeavor. I believe there are things worth fighting for. I believe there are things worth dying for. While I am more than a little hesitant to claim there are things worth killing for (because it is hard for me to conceive, let alone justify such a claim), I recognize that sometimes easy choices are simply not given to us, and I do not judge those who fight. Despite my own deontological moral philosophy, I absolutely believe there is honor in being a soldier, and it is totally appropriate to respect and honor THEM for their service.

The dead have no enemies (unless of course, the Zombie Apocalypse arrives, in which case, I'm going to have a LOT of moral paradigms to rethink). An enemy is someone who wants to harm you in some way. I do not believe the dead wish ill of anyone. As such, when someone dies, they cease to be an enemy. I'm not suggesting we suddenly forgive or forget. All claims to objectivity aside, history will always be replete with at least passive judgments. But this does make desecration of the dead a moral sin. The most justly won victory can be completely tainted by such behavior, the most righteous defender brought down to the level of the basest of villains.

But I am not a soldier. I have no enemies. I have never fired a weapon, I have never been fired upon. I have never watched someone close to me die, knowing their killer was still alive and it was within my power to do something about it. It is simply not a position I have ever occupied, and so I cannot, in all fairness, pass firm judgment upon it. I have what I believe, and I believe it to be right, and someone would be hard pressed to convince me of any justification otherwise. But I will not pretentiously flout high standing ideals, safe in the comfort and security afforded me by the very individuals I would be lambasting.

I hope that all those people who were once considered enemies find peace in whatever afterlife they find, should they believe in one, and peace in the nothingness if they believe that instead. I hope their loved ones have a place to go to remember them, to honor their ideals if they are worth honoring them, to honor the individual if he or she is worth it to them, or at least to mourn the tragedy that was their life and death. And I hope that as best as we are able, we respect those who fight for causes not our own and that when the fighting ends, and the issues resolve and the wounds began to heal, we put aside thoughts of 'enemies,' and return to being just people.

Early Morning Philosophy #1

Most people think that optimists--hopeful people, people who choose to focus on the good--turn a blind eye to the realities of the world. That they live in houses made of fuschia glass, incapable of facing truth. I disagree. In my experiences, people of hope are more aware of the world than most, because they look at each moment. They refuse to sweep all negative events into a sweeping, 'Well, what do you expect these days?' generality that the pessimistic and the despairing do; instead, they believe that each victim, each sad tragedy is worth being mourned in and of itself, and not just part of some overarching (and therefore ignorable) whole. They refuse to let themselves become desensitized, and so, feel each sadness fresh each time. It easy to shrug off sadness, easy to act as if it is to be expected, and after all, what could *I* have done about it anyway? It is much harder to refuse to accept that as the rule, to strive instead to make it the exception. To focus on the good is to encourage it...Evil is the greatest, and original troll which thrives off the attention it gets. Optimists don't claim the world is great. I don't even think it's that good. But the potential for good is there, and to trivialize it by considering any such encouragement as juvenile does no favors for anyone. Pessimism is an easy way out because it gives those who do wrong an excuse, a cop out. "How could you have expected me to do the right thing?" they ask, "When the wrong thing was so much easier and practically EXPECTED?" I am willing to accept, though not agree, that optimism is probably foolish. I will never accept that it is weak.

A Philopsychological Analysis: V and Phantom

Today I watched two movies with a few similar themes that got me thinking about a variety of topics. The first was V for Vendetta, the second, the 2007 adaptation of Phantom of the Opera. One of this movies is almost incontestably better than the other, but that's not really the issue here. I noted some correlations between the two titular characters.

I'm using the movies for this case, as opposed to the books and/or original musical for a variety of reasons. One is, as mentioned, I just watched them. Two, I haven't read the original V for Vendetta in ages. Three, while I'm quite aware that the movie barely does justice to almost any aspect of Sir Andrew's music, there's the simple fact that I don't like Sarah Brightman. Not because she is in any way untalented, because she's quite gifted. I just think she's a robot. And by that, I mean, her voice has no soul to me. It doesn't move me at all, I am not in the least sympathetic to Christine, and in fact, kind of want the Phantom to drown her at some point. I am told by those more musically inclined than I am that the actors are singing off-key in some of the major songs. I couldn't tell you. It is my personal opinion that Raoul and Christine are fine singers on their own (one has a Tony and one has been performing opera since she was 4), but that they didn't harmonize particularly well, which hurt their duet performances. In the end, virtually all my issues (especially all the gross inconsistencies (Meg has wet pants, wet pants, wet pants, camera change, DRY PANTS)) are solely the fault of the director, Joel Shumacher (who is also responsible for the violent assault of our childhood known as Batman Forever and Batman and Robin). Admittedly, I blame him for lots of things, including the KT meteor. I don't like him, is what I'm saying.

You can tell I'm going to digress a lot.

Anyway, similarities.

To get the obvious one out of the way for you trolls, there's the whole mask thing, ostensibly to hide a great deformity that works as an allegory to their own inner scarring. They are both verbose, well versed in literature and theatrics, etc.

The deeper, and I feel, more significant similarity is that they are both offered a chance at a real human relationship by the woman they care about; arguably the first and only time this has or will ever happen. And they turn it down. My personal interpretation has always been that, having spent all their lives filled with darkness and hatred, the sudden introduction of something as pure as love overwhelms their twisted minds and brings them to the sad conclusion that they are incapable of returning in kind, as they are so very broken inside. You could make the case that V is simply too dedicated to his cause, but I believe the case for his 'monster' status is pretty well made in the film.

This line of thinking got me into a philopsyhological mindset, with which I found myself analyzing much of Phantom. In the end I focused on the triangle relationship, and the idea of personhood.

There will be a lot of stretching for some of these points, and clearly, much comes down to interpretation. That is, after all, the beauty of art.

The first point is that human beings act inconsistently, and paradoxically, and the characters in the play reflect that. There are numerous moments of conflict, times where warring motivations vie for decision-making significance. This is especially true with Eric (the Phantom), but both Christine and Raoul make good representations as well.

For example, rarely do I question the sincerity of the characters. Sanity, yes, sincerity, no. I believe Eric means it when he says he loves Christine, and I believe he means it when he says he'll kill Raoul if she doesn't stay with him (not exactly something a truly loving person would do).

Speaking of that, let's talk about that sanity thing. The only sane one in this triangle is Raoul and he makes up for it by being rich and spoiled. Christine clearly has some left over neuroses and abandonment issues thanks to her father passing away. As far as I can tell, she honestly believes in the beginning that it is the spirit of her father coaching her, and even after everything that happens in the first half of the show, she still goes to his grave, as if to confirm he is actually in it. When Raoul goes up to the roof with her, she hears the Phantom calling her, and she clearly is not sure if she's actually hearing it or if it's in her mind, because the lines of reality have seemingly become blurred.

Eric, of course, is even worse off. At best, he's a sociopath, devoid of what most of society recognizes as a moral compass (hence, the killing and all). More to our purposes, he has a sexual pathology. That actually doesn't have a lot to do with actual sex. To wit (and how often do we get to use that phrase?), he obviously spends a lot of time fantasizing, mostly about Christine. Note the drawings and paintings of her, all the little miniatures and of course the life size model. This is pretty classic behavior of someone with potentially highly dangerous sexual deviancy. Not that fantasizing is bad, in and of itself, we all do it. It is just that when classifying sexually violent crimes, it has been noted that only sadists and organized, anger excitation/power assertive/anger retaliatory rapists enjoy imagining the crime as much as, if not more than, actually committing it. So the fantasy aspect is considered very important, because offenders escalate up from that. Virtually all sexual crimes start with a deviant fantasy. That doesn't mean all fantasies will lead to deviant behavior (again, a lot more people would be guilty than are) but it is something to keep in mind.

Going up the usual progression, there's peeping, stalking, and finally assault/kidnapping, all of which Eric does at some point.

The danger here is that the world does not conform to our fantasies, and he has not been socialized to handle rejection and disappointment. But wait, you say, he never intended, nor demonstrated any attempt to hurt Christine.

Which leads to my second point. Eric did not see Christine as a person, someone with autonomy and agency. She was an object, a living, moving version of the mannequin he had made of her. She was a figure of his dreams, and when she did not act exactly as he'd pictured, he became violent, manipulative and destructive. This is also pretty standard behavior for a sexual predator.

When he brought her down to his lair, he probably imagined she would wake up, he would play and she would be inspired to sing and that would inspire him and they would exist in some kind of blissful resonance. The problem with making a human your muse is that real muses are remote, untouchable, as Christine had always been to him before. Now she was close, and all of her faults and humanity, manifested in the (not very subtle) action of pulling his mask off, were undeniable. This is one of the first examples of his reactions to non-conforming behavior. I don't really know what he expected to have happen, but he obviously didn't account for her curiosity.

If Eric had truly wanted Christine to come with him, as an autonomous human, he would have come to her more openly. Not like bells-and-whistles-and-hey-by-the-way-I'm-horribly-deformed, but certainly not purposefully inciting her to believe her father had sent him in some mystical way, not using smoke, mirrors and magic to make her question her senses and not hypnotizing her musically. I have sometimes heard people say they dislike the movie version of 'Music of the Night' because near the end, he's more or less groping her, but I don't really understand this reaction. Listen to the lyrics, they're all 'abandon reason' and good sense, 'give in to the darkness' and 'let me do what I want with you.' Between that and her glassy-eyed 'under the influence' look, and I'd say 'Music of the Night' is the essentially a lyrical roofie. Yeah, you heard me, he spiked her ears so he could have his way with her. Of course, I doubt 'his way' would have entailed a sexual relation for quite a while, not out of respect for her, but because I'm not convinced he's capable of such intimacy. I'm sure there's fanfiction to prove me wrong (very very very sure).

Which brings us back to the Viscount. I do not believe that Raoul spends most of the play viewing Christine as a person either. His reasons are more that he's a chauvinist, typical of his time period. When they first meet again, and Christine tries to tell him she can't go out, he bulldozes over her words and insists she go to dinner with him. He does this sort of thing a lot. When Christine says 'Yo, let's escape because someone is trying to kill me' he's like 'Lol, you so crazy, girl.' Honestly, when she's explaining that she was in a dungeon and sharing how conflicted she is because she's terrified but also sympathetic to her captor, he looks at her as if she's explaining how the Saurians of Venout 9 have been communicating to her through her hair curls. To him, she's something to be protected and sheltered. You imagine that in HIS dreams, he is the perfect noble, she the perfect wife, to be set on a mantle piece, looked at and praised. Even 'All I Ask of You' (one of my favoritest songs ever) shows this relationship. All of Raoul's lines are 'Let me take care of you and lead you and tell you what to do'...'Let me do X for/to you.' Now, in his defense, she is frightened and probably needs someone to be there for her, to promise to take care of her and to help her figure everything out. I'm not solely blaming Eric or Raoul for seeing Christine as...well, what she is. An ingénue. For most of the show, she is passive, allowing things to happen to her, rather than causing them to happen. Part of this is, that's her character, some of it is the crazy. At least Raoul seems to seek some kind of involvement on her part. Eric's seduction seems more like 'Just be here and let things happen' as opposed to 'Do this with me.' Splitting hairs, though.

And for a while Christine and Raoul seem happy enough, so I'd like to think that they'd gotten over this. Then we get the after math of 'Masquerade.' Again, Christine is asking Raoul to listen to him and again, he is sure he knows best and she should stop being so bloody hysterical. He's not hearing her and is thus denying her basic personhood; in other words, he doesn't respect her.

The pivotal moment, and another of my favorite songs, comes with 'Point of No Return.' Eric is almost asking Christine to choose him, but he's also doing it according to his script, which he wrote. He expects her to follow the lines he has laid out for her, to just go along with it. Still not recognizing her as a person with agency. However, you can almost see Christine's spine straightening as the song goes on. Maybe she's tired of being pushed around. Maybe she thinks this is the only thing she can do to save the opera house and her friends (considering how that turns out, especially for the chandelier, I find this doubtful). Either way, she has finally come to recognize her own agency and is ready to demonstrate it. You can actually see the moment when Raoul sees it too. He half stands, a suggestion of tear coming to his eye as he realizes she might not actually choose him. She might just choose to go with this dark, exotic stranger, who promises enticing, forbidden joys; a contrast to the moral, socially acceptable (and therefore less exciting) life that he represents. She has a choice, and he might not be it. Yet before the song is done, he sits down again, jaw tightening as if he is coming to terms with the idea, resolving to let her handle it. Notice he doesn't send in the fuzz the moment things aren't going his way. You can bet Eric would not have exerted so much discretion.

When Christine pulls off his mask the second time, it should have been clear to Eric he was not going to be able to control her, but I think by then, he was done with the upstairs world and didn't really care what they thought. You can see the apologies in her eyes and this is one of the many times we see conflicting emotions and motivations. Maybe she thought the display would be good for him, freeing him in some way. Maybe she just wanted people to believe her. He doesn't seem angry with her action, perhaps a little disappointed, but also understanding. His expression says 'You did what you had to do.'

Still, Eric does not extend agency to Christine, dragging her down 'to the dungeon of' his 'black despair,' and shoving a veil on her head. But Christine has found some kind of inner strength now, and she is not jumping (or singing) on his say so anymore. What she is doing is holding him to a standard, speaking to him in plain terms and recognizing his personhood in a way he hasn't recognized hers. She points out that he's had a choice this whole time and he's been making the wrong one. He is not an object to be pitied, a pet to take home and nurse. He's a human being who has caused suffering to others. Then Raoul shows up. I think this is because he views Eric's kidnap of Christine as more than just 'you're taking my property' and more 'you're forcing Christine into this.' Obviously, he wants Christine to come back with him, but I think he was also concerned she was being taken against her will (whatever her and Eric's duet of musical foreplay said).

The Phantom asks Raoul before throwing a noose over his neck 'Why would I make her pay for the sins which are yours?' I find this to be an interesting question. On the surface, he views Raoul as a rival, someone who has gotten in the way of his plans. Still convinced of his fantasy, he probably believes that if not for Raoul, Christine would have acted exactly as he wanted. On the other hand, I wonder if, even unconsciously, he projected onto Raoul faults he saw in himself. He heard Raoul promising to do everything FOR Christine, he heard him in the beginning and probably later on ignoring her pleas. Here, Raoul has everything he doesn't: respect, passable looks, wealth, prestige, and yet he still disrespects Christine. In this way, I think Eric sees him as both rival and mirror and hates him in both capacities.

At this point, things become kind of muddy for me. Christine has made it perfectly clear that she holds Eric in contempt. So when she goes out to him, it could be argued that she is disingenuous, and simply doing it because she wants to save Raoul. For his part, I think Raoul is reaffirmed of his respect for Christine's personhood when he realizes she has to save him. Was Christine deceiving Eric by seeming to accept his offer? I don't think so, because I think he would have picked up on it. Certainly, he expected that to be her reason.

I find the 'You deceived me. I gave you my mind blindly' line to be important because it is another big step for Christine. Not only does she recognize she is in control of her own life but also that she has to take responsibility for her actions. She allowed Eric to manipulate her, she allowed him to control her. By proxy, she allowed Raoul to overrule her by never being assertive. Realizing that Eric was not solely at fault, that she too had created this situation, I think she decided that staying with him was a consequence thereof. And I think that while she honestly loved Raoul, she also sincerely intended to stay with Eric. Maybe because she felt he needed her more, maybe inside she was really frightened. I don't know, but in any case, she was ready to stand by that decision.

But Eric lets them go. Feeling human affection for the first time, something in his mind must have snapped, the curtain must have finally gone up (see what I did there?), leaving him no more excuses. He had said earlier 'the world showed no compassion to me,' as if that justified all of his wrongdoings, but now he had to face them in the eyes of someone who truly cared for him, who didn't judge him for his deformity. It was all too much. Whatever shame he felt before was increased exponentially now. So he demands they leave him to be alone with his misery. He has finally accepted Christine as her own person and realized that he can't force her. And he is pained he tried.

I've sometimes wondered why Christine comes to give him the ring. I always thought it was a token of her care. After all, Raoul had given it to her, she could easily have kept it. But she gives it to Eric, as if to say 'Even though I can't be with you, I choose to leave this with you of my own volition.'

You can see Raoul leaning on her and his development is never made more obvious than the switching of the lyrics. Now it is he who says 'Say the word and I will follow you.'

I think there is probably no greater image of self-hatred than the shattering of mirrors. Both Eric and V do it after being forced to see themselves through the eyes of the ones they love. It is a visceral and I think, truly heartbreaking attempt at trying to destroy oneself.

All of these points can be argued, and there were a lot of side paths that I didn't go into. But I hope my points were clear enough and that maybe you'll think about some of these things the next time you pop in the soundtrack or turn on the movie. You can wonder (although if you do, I'd be concerned) why Christine chooses Raoul over Eric (I'm gunna go with the whole 'murder' thing). In the end, I don't think it matters as much as the fact that she was given the choice and that she chose to make it.