Geek Movie Previews

Oh, the internet, and all the forewarning you give us. Looks like the upcoming film season will be good to us geeks, so I thought I'd fill in some previews of what's coming up.

These are all based on video games or comic books and therefore could turn out absolutely terrible. But I dare to hope. Curse you, Chris Nolan and what you've done to us.

First, there is Prince of Persia. Apparently, it has come to a surprise to a lot of people that they've already cast and shot a lot of this. I saw production pictures awhile back and just assumed so had everyone else.

Why this can rock: The director has done a few Young Indiana Jones movie, which may bring some experience, since those don't actually suck. Plus he directed Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, so he knows what it's like to do licensed movies. With actors like Sir Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina, there's some obvious cred going on...

Why it can suck:...however, I'd like to remind everyone that Ben Kingsley was in BloodRayne and Alfred Molina...okay, fine, I won't make a jibe about Spiderman 2. He's still cool.

What may totally ruin an otherwise perfectly good movie: Well, first, if you're going to do a Prince of Persia movie, your special effects had better rock. Nothing ruins ancient-time flicks like stupid sand effects. It's pretty much the difference between awesomeness of The Mummy and the suckiness of...all the not-the-first-movie Mummies.

And then, of course, there is the Prince himself. Many people are skeptical of Jake Gyllenhal as the main character, mostly because he is associated with 1) dating Kirsten Dunst (ew) and 2) pretending to get it on with Heath Ledger (slightly less ew, ironically). However, anyone who has seen Donnie Darko knows that his weakness won't be his acting. It will be managing to not overact, yet maintaining a level of I-don't-take-myself-so-seriously-everyone-is-groaning-in-the-aisles. And of course, there are the physical ramifications.

Now, I was already really impressed with how much work Tobey Mcguire put in to get the role of Spiderman. He really really wanted it and he worked hard to get it. That doesn't mean he did a really good job, but I actually blame the director more than anything else (even though he's already pre-redeemed since he gave us Bruce Cambell). My point is that, I am aware that just putting in effort to reach the physicality of the character isn't enough to make that character likable. However, it does look like at least a modicum of effort is being made.



This film is in Post-Production and will come out next year.

Then there is Mr.Reynolds, who never ceases to amaze. In the near future, he will join the ranks of Halle Berry and James Marsden as individuals who have played both DC and Marvel characters. The difference is HE WON'T SUCK.

If you saw the Wolverine movie, you know that Ryan Reynolds did NOT get enough facetime but when he was onscreen, he was ON. Actually did a lot to make the movie not-suck-as-much (okay, I still liked it). So knowing he gets his own movie is pretty tight for me.

Why it could rock: Deadpool. Motherfscking Deadpool. OP'd, wise-cracking, don't-mess-with-me BAMF. With the right script, this could really be awesome. We already know Reynolds can wisecrack, that more or less is his entire career. And we know he can do the physical between Blade Trinity and Wolverine, so he's got the spectrum down.

Why it could suck: They don't have a director yet, and that sort of thing can really make or break a film. The greatest acting in the world can't help if you have no clear direction (anyone who has ever been in any small town play ever can attest to this). So fingers crossed.

What could ruin an otherwise perfectly good movie: Making Deadpool so OP'd that he's not interesting to watch because there's no challenge. He was pretty fricken' uber at the end of Wolverine and as cool as that was, it would be hard to maintain for an entire two hour film.

This movie is still in 'Announced' phase, and is set to come out in 2011.

MEANWHILE...

Green Freaking Lantern. Played by, /fanfare/ Ryan Reynolds! Thus, he jumps from two Marvel Characters (Hannibal King of Blade Trinity counts as Marvel obviously) to DC as Hal Jordan.

Why this could rock: Again, wise-cracking superhero of uberness? Sign this Canadian up.
Also, the director has some action movie cred under him: Goldeneye, Casino Royale, Mask (and Legend) of Zorro to name just a few of the more recent ones. And hey...could be worse. Could be Boll.

Why it could suck: Not enough cheese, too much cheese, not enough story, not enough action...there are a lot of ways these types can go wrong. Also, considering that the direction something like Green Lantern takes could help point a finger on whether there's ever an ACTUAL JL movie. Considering how monumentally different Superman Returns and Batman Begins is in art style (not to mention, you know, timeline), it may be hard to reconcile the two. Green Lantern may be the happy medium to give hope it can be done.

What could ruin an otherwise perfectly good movie: Them failing so utterly to pick a direction that works with todays audience that a Justice League movie becomes totally impossible. Failsauce incarnate.

This movie is also set to come out in 2011, which would be pretty funny (remember when Cyclops was killed off so he could look MORE like a pansy compared to Superman?).

Jumping back to the Marvelverse, there is...

THOR!
Now to be honest, Thor has never been a fave of mine but the movie is shaping up awesomely.

Why it could rock: First, Kenneth Branaugh, the greatest Shakespearean actor EVER-of-all-time-hands-down is directing. He's directed quite a few films, including some of the best renditions of Shakespeare onscreen and he's very good with actors. This could really add a layer of sophistication that would keep this movie away from Hulk-like emptiness.
Second, the cast looks AWESOME so far. First you have the guy who played Kirk's dad in the new Star Trek as Thor. Little young from what I usually imagine but it could definitely work, since he's got that Norse thing going on. Then you have Jessica Biel (who's already rocked Marvel once, appearing alongside Ryan Reynolds in Blade Trinity), who has both grace, good acting and general badassery...who is rumored to be Sif, badass warrior goddess. I, personally think this would be great for Biel as an actual superhero. Adding to the potential love-triangle is Natalie Portman who is again sauntering into sci-fi genre, though I'm sure she's trying to block out all memories of Star Wars. This means, she too is bouncing to the other side of the street, having already done V for Vendetta, which technically counts as a DC comic. And finally, Brian Blessed is going to be Odin. Ironically, he was also in a Star Wars prequel, as Boss Nass, but you can totally imagine his voice booming out across Asgard. Also a Shakespearean actor, I'm not really surprised he was tapped for this.

Why it could suck: As the next movie working towards an Avengers film (technically the third, after Iron Man and the second Hulk movie), they have to tread a fairly fine line. Also, though the actor playing Loki certainly has the look, he hasn't been in too much, and a weak Loki could really kill the whole plot.

What could ruin an otherwise perfectly good movie: Bad lightning effects. I'm not even kidding, this movie better have an amazing budget. Though Mr.Branaugh has been IN movies with pretty hardcore SFX, he's never directed one to my knowledge, and we may end up with the Fantastic Four issues all over again. GD giant world-sucking cloud....

Again, 2011. That year is going to be wicked.

Stuff you probably already know about:
Iron Man 2 is getting along pretty well. There are pictures of Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, which was a surprising choice as a follow up villain. Here's hoping the maintain the level of awesome.
Castlevania, set to be directed by the AWESOME Paul Anderson was shut down because the writer was crap. So no whiplove for us. Same goes for Halo, though that isn't all that surprising. Peter Jackson may be cool, but he's also a prima donna and Microsft likes their level of control.
There IS going to be a new Tomb Raider movie, but whether Angelina returns or they get the girl who has been modeling/acting as Lara, or someone else entirely, has yet to be seen.

Please God, don't let it be Megan Fox. For anything. Ever. Especially not Wonder Woman.

Still, all in all, there have been more games licensed to be made into movies which is both awesome and sucky because it means that the movies being made aren't being pushed by individuals REALLY passionate about it, but by those who make them because they'll sell, guaranteeing mediocrity and all around crapulence for many. Still, the recognition of video games as a marketable artform is somewhat gratifying for those of us who have ALWAYS considered them such.

Now, just no Uwe, and we'll be okay.

I open the floor to all discussion.