A glance back into the dark forest of memory...

2008. Nearing an end, eh? As with all years, feelings are mixed, topped by a jaded 'Meh, whatev' attitude born of having seen a few years now ;) (oh don't I sound all old and wise /eyeroll).

So here's a bit of a review of my life over this year (what I'm doing instead of writing a Christmas letter too).

Favorite album: The Scarecrow-Avantasia (came out in 2007, but it was the most played album of mine this year)
Favorite song: Vampire Heart-HIM
You can't escape the wrath of my heart
Beating to your funeral song (You're so alone)
All faith is lost for hell regained
And love dust in the hands of shame (Just be brave)

Let me bleed you this song of my heart deformed
And lead you along this path in the dark
Where I belong 'till I feel your warmth

Hold me
Like you held on to life
When all fears came alive and entombed me
Love me
Like you love the sun
Scorching the blood in my vampire heart

I'll be the thorns on every rose
You've been sent by hope (You'll grow cold)
I am the nightmare waking you up
From the dream of a dream of love (Just like before)

Let me weep you this poem as Heaven's gates close
Paint you my soul, scarred and alone
Waiting for your kiss to take me back home

Hold me
Like you held on to life
When all fears came alive and entombed me
Love me
Like you love the sun
Scorching the blood in my vampire heart
(Don't freak out, it's just a cool song)

Favorite discovered artists: Ayreon, Within Temptation (hadn't listened that much before), Disturbed
Favorite new game: Eternal Sonata (RPG, PS3)
Favorite Movie seen in theatres: I know everyone expects Dark Knight, and it was cool, but it didn't do as much for me in theatre as I thought it would. I think I enjoyed Iron Man more.
Favorite anime: Still Bleach. Favorite anime finished this year? <.<....Um...I liked Claymore, I'm currently enjoying Blood+.
Favorite re-found show: X-Files (watched like five seasons in Taiwan, I'm not even kidding)
Favorite book series: The Sandman series, Neil Gaiman
Favorite "real" (pfft) book series: Heroes in Hell

~~~~

School:
For those who have been spared my ranting...I was 'let go' of by the Woodring College of Education at Western. Kicked out, as it were. Failed...the whole year, essentially. My first year at the university and...it felt like a lifetime. The stress caused by the last quarter shot white streaks through my hair. I wish I was exxagerating.

SO...that required a new plan. The old plan was as follows:
Get a Sped/Eled degree (dual endorsement)
Teach for a few years
Go back to school adn get a History endorsement for Middle/high school.

Well...that isn't going to happen now.

New Plan:
Get History teaching endorsement
If I'm not totally broke and in debt and dying: Get SPED endorsement
NEVER TEACH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Teach Middle/High School
Live for several years in debt

It's not ideal but I'm not giving up. If that doesn't work, I can always go to Asia and teach English as a second language.
So last quarter (fall, 2008) I did pretty decent, so one more really good quarter should get my GPA salvaged from the grossness of last year. I'm really enjoying studying History, my teachers like me, I write solid papers and I love what I'm learning. It's probably frustrating for those around me to listen to me always blabbing to them what new story I've learned but /shrug It's exciting to me.

WORK:
Like last year, I work at one of the dining halls at school. I applied to be a Student Manager and should have gotten the job but the shift they needed covered would have interfered with me being in class. So I couldn't take it and it was given to someone less qualified. I don't really mind because since we lost our Unit Manager (think the Manager's Manager), the SM's have been screwed by the brass. They are disrespected, overworked and practically emotionally abused. That's mess I don't need, and besides, half of everyone defers to me now anyway, so I'm like a manager without the uniform. I actually end up training the managers on how to run Pizzarette because it's almost officially my domain.
I love my job, I love most people I work with and I love talking to the customers. The head manager seems to really like me, which worked in my favor because I'm getting a raise next quarter. They're hiring another student manager from outside our work, and I'm not going to pursue it, because I feel it was unfair of them to offer if they couldn't deliver.
So next quarter, I'll work two late night Pizza shifts. I love pizza because 1) I don't serve people food so I don't have to ration, 2) I'm good at it, 3) I get to listen to whatever music I want. Late night goes from 9-1 (or whenever we get out), which will only suck for the thursday night one (where I make cheesybread) because I have to get up early friday morning. I also work Pizza friday night dinner, because they need good people working dinners. And finally, I work a grill shift early saturday. I do that because they need the help and I need the money.

FAMILY:
As you can imagine, with as busy as I am with work and school, I don't do a lot with my family. It was wonderful seeing them for my 21st birthday and everytime I've visited them, but I don't get to be there often, which is pretty tough.

FRIENDS:
My friends are wonderful and I'd be lost without them. I'm going to mix this section with the 'event' section because so much of what I did involved them:
I spent a large portion of the year with the Andrews, Lee and Patry. Andrew Lee is my friend at school, he helped me through a lot of stuff there, even though he had all the same difficulties with the education department I did. I spent more time at his house in the last quarter than I did mine. We watched a lot of movies (Power Rangers, ftw), made fun of our friend Mike a lot. Made fun of a lot of stuff actually. There were times where our only therapy was ranting at each other and just generally being full of hate, getting over it and gaming. Obviously, other Andrew is my boyfriend who I didn't get to see enough of, but now we live in the same house so I suppose that makes up for it.
Jen, Andrew Ridd, Chandler, Geoff, Jeff, Dylan, Leah, Mike, Kelly, and all my other good friends were also really important to me and I'm glad we all kept in such good touch no matter how far I got.

EVENTS!
Games~ Played a lot of Rock Band and Guitar hero. I don't care if you think I should play the real instrument, that opportunity was never given to me. This is as close as I'm ever going to get. So get over your musical eliticism, because I don't care.
I rock at the drums. I still play on medium most of the time because that's the most enjoyable setting but I hold my own in Hard. Motorhead kills me though. It just is really tiring.
I love the character creation, you'd know my character (named November) as soon as you saw her. The blue hair and corset would probably help.
So we do that a lot, I can also play the guitar, but I enjoy being a drummer the most. I think it's an attitude thing.
The game that saved me last year was Shin Megami Tense: Digital Devil Saga 1 and 2. Thank you, Mr.Lee for letting me borrow it because it helped a lot. I'm looking forward to playing Persona 3 and 4 when I have time. Atlus has pretty much taken over my RPG experience, except for Eternal Sonata.
Oh yeah, I got a PS3! It's amazing, angels sing when I turn it on, etc. We also got a big tv, so I <3 movie parties in my rec room.
On another note, I still play WoW. I finally hit 70 with my main, took freaking forever. But that's cause I have WoWADD, and have like fourteen characters. Whenever a friend starts playing, I make a new char to play with them. All of my characters are female, most are Blood Elves, though I have a few Undead and two trolls. Even a tauren. Screw orcs. I also have a Death Knight, who is my first inherently evil character. I'm not even kidding, she is such a bitch. Oh, in case that didn't quite make sense, I make up stories for all of my characters, despite the fact that most of them are on a PVP server where it doesn't matter. I've now played every class but Druid and Shaman. I like Mages a lot, but I also love hitting things.

TAIWAN:
So I actually left the country this year. It was a really significant experience for me, and one I needed. I grew up as a person, realized some things about myself and got some perspective on life. Mostly that crap happens, and the only way to grow is to get over it, learn from it and move on. It's not the end of the flippin' world and life doesn't wait for you to sort your crap out.
Anyway, I did a lot of stuff in Taiwan, I taught, I prepared, I worked, I learned, I laughed, I SANG, I did tribal dances...it was stuffed.

The Concert~
So my friend Geoff, bless his heart, got us tickets to see Amanda Palmer in concert at the Showbox in Seattle. She's half of the Dresden Dolls for those who don't know. The name of her 'genre' is 'Punk Cabaret', it's very theatrical, and I find it enjoyable. The whole experience was just shot full of awesome and it was definitely a highlight of the year.

HOUSE~
This was the first year I lived away from home. At first I lived in dorms at school. But...that was not a fun scene, so I went another direction.
As you may or may not know I live with 5 other people. Well, four now. We lost one, and that's been fun trying to deal with. But I love my housemates, we haven't had many serious problems. A couple of conversations about personal preferences and whatnot, but nothing ugly. So, as long as rent isn't too sucky, my home situation is pretty nifty. I have a nice rec room, a desk, a bureau, all the necessities.
It really helps living with Andrew, and storing most of my stuff in his room (which is wayyy bigger than mine), and he's a huge support. Plus he buys me food.

B-Day:
Being 21 isn't much different than being 20 other than being able to actually walk into liquor stores and laugh at people (I don't really laugh on the outside). And feel less guilty if someone offers me something. Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting slagged anytime soon, but the fear is definitely gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So what's my life?
I study hard, I work hard. I play video games and WoW. I watch comic book and action movies, read webcomics and graphic novels, love anime and would be lost without my friends and family.